美国又开始有点像80年代了

Have I told you how much I've come to dislike the 90s? The depressive music, the ironic distance to everything, the deconstructive narratives, the moral relativism, and the total cultural takeover of postmodern ideology. Oh, I did that just last week? Well, allow me another go.

But rather than railing against the 90s, let me tell you about the 80s. They were amazing. America was firing on all cylinders, Reagan had brought the morning back, and the Soviet Union provided a clear black-and-white adversarial image. But it was the popular culture of the era that still fills me with hiraeth.

It was the time of earnest storytelling. When Rocky could just train real hard to avenge the death of his friend by punching Dolph Lundgreen for 10 minutes straight in a montage of blood, sweat, and tears. After which even the Russians couldn't help themselves but cheer for him. Not a shred of irony. Just pure "if you work real hard, you can do the right thing" energy.

Or what about Weird Science from 1985? Two nerds bring Barbie to life, and she teaches them to talk to real girls. It was goofy, it was kitsch, but it was also earnest and honest. Nerdy teenage boys have a hard time talking to girls! But they can learn how, and if they do, it'll all work out.

That movie was actually the earliest memory I have of wanting to move to America. I don't remember exactly when I saw it, but I remember at the end thinking, "I have to go there." Such was the magnetic power of that American 80s earnest optimism!

Or what about the music? Do you have any idea what the 1986 music video for Sabrina's BOYS could do for a young Danish boy who'd only just discovered the appeal of girls? Wonders, is what. Wonders. And again, it depicted this goofy but earnest energy. Boys and girls like each other! They have fun with the chase. The genders are not doomed to opposing trenches on the Eastern Front for all eternity.

So back to today. It feels like we're finally emerging from this constant 90s Seattle drizzle to sunny 80s LA vibes in America. The constant pessimism, the cancellation militias, and the walking-on-eggshells atmosphere have given way to something far brighter, bolder, and, yes, better. An optimism, a levity, a confidence.

And Sweeney herself has also kept her foot on the gas. Now there's a new Baskin-Robbins campaign that's equal parts Weird Science (two nerds!) and "Boys Boys Boys" music video. No self-referential winks to how this might achksually be ProBLeMAtIC. Just a confident IT GIRL grabbing the attention of a nation.

The male role model too has been going through a rehabilitation lately. I absolutely loved F1: The Movie. It's classic Jerry Bruckheimer Top Gun pathos: Real men doing dangerous stuff for the chase, the glory, and the next generation with a love story that involves a competent yet feminine female partner. 

Again, it's an entirely sincere story with great morals. The generational gap is real, but we can learn from each other. Young hotshots have speed but lack experience. Old-timers can be grumpy but their wisdom was hard-won.

Even the diversity in that movie fails to feel forced! It's a woman leading the engineering in a male-dominated world, and she can't quite hack it at first. Her designs are too by-the-book. But then Brad Pitt sells the gamble of a dirty-air fighter design, she steps up her game, and wins the crown by her wits and talent. Tell me that isn't a wholesome story!

David Foster Wallace nailed this all in his critique of postmodernism. He called out the irony, cynicism, and irreverence that had fully permeated the culture from the 90s forward. And frankly, he was bored with it! It's an amazing interview to watch today. Wallace had the diagnosis nailed back in 1997. But it's taken us until these mid-2020s to fully embrace its conclusions.

We need earnest values and virtues. We need sincere stories that are not afraid of grand narratives. That don't constantly have to deconstruct "but what is good really?", and dare embrace a solid defense of "some ways of being really are better." We also need to have fun! We need to throw away these shit-tinted glasses that see everything in the world as a problematic example of some injustice or oppression. We a bit of gratitude for technology and progress!

That's what the Sweeney campaign is doing. That's what Brad Pitt is racing for in F1: The Movie. That's what I'm here for!

Because as much as I love the croissants of the Old World, I find myself craving that uniquely American brand of optimism, enthusiasm, and determination more whenever I've been back in Europe for too long. Give me some Weird Science! Give me some Sabrina at the pool! Give me some American 80s vibes!